Seeing Miracles

I have been longing to divulge some of my deepest thoughts and ideas lately, but have come up short with knowing what to say. That’s not to say that I haven’t had many things on my mind, but sharing them in a “helpful” way has been lost on me.

That old adage of saying, “if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all” has been at the forefront of my mind as I look for a way to communicate with the googling population (can googling even be a verb?) the struggles I’ve encountered. But today, with a refreshed view of God’s purposes, I had something to share.

I’ve been meeting with some new friends and discussing God’s word, by looking at “Barbarians” of the bible. These people lived in a radically different way from the rest of society. They looked different (c’mon, wearing camel’s hair, really?!), acted different (eating locusts? Yikes!), and chose the difficult path to be obedient to God.

Last night, we discussed John the Baptist. (let me point out some irony, last Sunday’s service was about this very man – I suppose there is a lesson here, huh?)

In Matthew 3, it is clear that JTB (John the Baptist) knew that Jesus was the Christ.

1In those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the Desert of Judea 2and
saying, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near." 3This is he who was spoken
of through the prophet Isaiah:
"A voice of one calling in the desert,
'Prepare the way for the Lord,
make straight paths for him.' "

13Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John.
14But John tried to deter him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you
come to me?"
15Jesus replied, "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do
this to fulfill all righteousness." Then John consented.
16As soon as Jesus
was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and
he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. 17And a
voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well
pleased."

We see that Jesus and JTB shared an interaction about who Jesus was (the Lord). But, if we look at Matthew 11, we get a different picture.

When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples 3to ask
him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"

So this makes me question, did JTB truly not know if Jesus was the Christ? Or was he in a position where he was asking Jesus to rescue him? You see, JTB was in prison, and soon enough his head would be presented on a platter to a little girl. But after thinking through Jesus’ response, we are left with some questions, or maybe a difficult realization…

4Jesus replied, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: 5The blind
receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy[b]are cured, the deaf hear,
the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. 6Blessed is the
man who does not fall away on account of me."

The author of the book we’re going through, made the interesting point…If you were to see Jesus perform a miracle, your next response would NOT be to fall away, but rather to believe more in the One performing the miracle. Unless…you were in desperate need of a miracle, and there was no miracle for you.
Have you ever been there? God is blessing others in AMAZING ways, but in your brokenness, He refuses to provide a miracle or even a blessing. What did JTB have to look forward to, or believe God for? He could’ve hoped for a release from prison, but that wasn’t what he was gonna get, or at least not in our idea of release.

I struggle through the many losses that God has allowed in my life over the past two years; losses ranging from funerals to the end of certain friendships.

In my honest look at JTB’s life, I can see how he had such an amazing impact/purpose on the future of our savior. We live our purpose, and God takes us home. Through that time He refines us, and encourages us to look up, even when we look around and it seems we’ve been left out of the blessing pool.

Blessed is [Sarah] who does not fall away [when it seems there are no miracles
for her].

Father God,
So many times I stop to focus on what I don’t have. I feel defiled and rejected. Even when I look at all the things you could’ve stopped from happening, I wonder about your goodness, and all-powerfulness. But, in the moment that I stop looking at me, I can praise you for the blessings & miracles you are performing for others: M&B’s baby (may she be healthy), E&J’s financial security, L’s daughter’s healing…May you capture my heart to honor you in all your Glory, reminding me that the world doesn’t revolve around me. It’s not about how I can be comforted, but how I can carry my cross to you. You’ll help carry the burden, but not always changing the circumstance. Thank you for reminding me of my place here. I will carry my hurts to you. I ask you remind me of my place, and only by your ultimate grace, will I find healing. Not in this world but in the world to come.
I love you. Amen.