Monday, July 26, 2010

Reckless Abandon



I wonder what it looks like to live with reckless abandon.
Is it responsible? Is it thrilling? Is it scary?

If I were to live in this kind of way, I would suppose I would speak up when I am interested in someone. Or maybe I would just take a huge leap and move my entire world to another part of the country. I think I’d be able to live with myself and look at myself in the mirror and believe that I’m doing everything that I was made to do on this earth.

Let’s look at the idea of moving to another city 1200 miles away. The only real challenges are the friends & family I’d miss here. The “what if’s” are amazing to consider. I could find the place that I fit or maybe I’d finally grow up enough to stand on my own two feet without a “safety-net” and realize that I really can fly.

Earlier tonight I was admiring the lives of geese. They can swim, walk or fly. I said to my friend that I can do 2 out of 3 of these things. If only I could get a grasp on flying. But, maybe I really can fly! If only I could trust that God had his hands beneath me and that I could see all of the joys that life really can hold. My life here is rich and full of many wonderful things, but what if these are really just the crumbs? The crumbs can be satisfying, but the table is where the best “food” is at.

I ask again. What would life look like if living it with reckless abandon?


As I continue down the path in making this decision, I find myself taking greater inventory of the joys that I have around me.
My house is now a home.
My friends have become family.
My hobbies add so much to my life.

As I look at each of these wonderful things, I realize the one thing that completes me is missing from the things I enjoy most here – God. We once had a relationship with joy and excitement. I remember the love affair I was enjoying where everytime I cracked the binding of my bible I got excited with the hope of what He wanted to teach me. I miss Him. I know He hasn’t gone anywhere, but I miss Him. In so many of my days of searching I keep avoiding the one person who I know WANTS to be found. I search continuously for a man to “complete” my life, or new journeys that will bring new experiences, or the possibility of moving so that I find a man who will make my life “complete” on a new journey with new experiences.

Maybe that is my ultimate decision. Instead of going in search of something new, stop and look for the God who has never left my side. The God who wants me to learn not to put ME first, but rather Him and the purpose I’m intended to fulfill will just naturally fall into place. Ahhh….reckless abandon. Maybe if I search God with this reckless abandon I’d figure out I’m right where He wants me.

1 comment:

  1. Glad to see you're embracing the journey. What a ride.

    ReplyDelete