Proverbs 31 - yuck?

I’ve struggled with what the Proverbs 31 woman lays out in imagery; especially as a single woman. But the question is…was the Proverbs 31 woman only these things once she became married? Of course not! I’m sure that there were many lessons that she had to learn through the process as a married woman, but some of these traits she learned before she was even betrothed.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at
the future”

This verse (Proverbs 31:25) has many different implications on her outlook on God. One of my biggest struggles (& probably most who follow Christ) is in the idea of trusting God’s ultimate sovereignty. In this verse she smiles at the future, because she trusts in God’s will, timing, sovereignty, etc. She is able to rest confidently in God & not freak out in the stickiest of circumstances.

So in regards to her character, isn’t this the kind of character we all desire, both married and single? Don’t we wish to learn to trust God in the most uncertain of circumstances and not freak out? So much that wages in me struggles to rest certainly of the hands of God. But so often I can look back with my 20/20 vision and acknowledge the glorious path that God has taken me on.

Father God,
Thank you so much for the blessing of seeing you work in my life. Forgive me for fearing the next steps. You have proven time & time again in my life and in others that shows how you ultimately care and provide for each of our needs. You know not only what we need, but also what we want. You fulfill the desires of our hearts when they are perfectly aligned with your will. My prayer is to be able to rest securely in the peace of who you are. Teach my heart & mind to not lose sight of the fact that you see the big picture. Help me to depend on you like a child depends on their parents.
Your grace is enough, and Your strength is made perfect in my weakness.
Amen.

Time

I've been wanting to post something over the past couple of days, but there have been so many things that I have wanted to say that I figured that it would probably be a post that was pages upon pages. But I thought to myself that you probably wouldn't take the time to read a really long post - unless of course you don't have a life and enjoy blog-stalking. ;) Just kidding!

Some things I have been learning/pondering/wrestling through:
- Repentance (What's the deal with this?)
- Yoke (Why is an egg so important?)
- Hope (This is kind of a repeat from a few months ago)
- Choosing God's best vs my best

This summer has been quite a great summer. When it first began I knew that God had some great big things to teach me. Or I guess I hoped that there was a purpose that this summer was going to have. You see, 2 months ago, I was learning about myself and the way that I approach relationships. God took away a relationship (hopefully only for a short time) and my hope & understanding of that time is so that I could learn more about me. Well, even if the outcome is not going to be how I would hope, I still know that it was not all in vain.

I am not sure if I wrote about Co-dependancy (or more appropriately termed "Fear of Man") but after some deep discovery, I realized that this is something that is hidden within my heritage. It has brought itself through the years, and is now in my hands. And I have a choice. I can learn from it, or I can continue through life with the same struggles as those who have gone before me & pass it down to my children. The problem with the "Fear of Man" is that it is disguised in many forms. It is disguised as low self-esteem, in unhealthy friendships, in unmet desires, in wanting others to like you, in living your life out of fear of someone else. Now, no, I am not "afraid" of man (or men), but rather as I have dug into my soul, I realized how much I live trying to please other people. But it also is masked with how sometimes my desire to unknowingly manipulate another person to try to get them to do something I want them to do.

The best part of all of this discovery, is the fact that as I look into some of my relationships, I can see the healthy ones - the relationships where they do not buy into this behavior. I have a friend who has not bought into one bit of my schemes to try to get them to like me. They have liked me genuinely from the beginning of our friendship. They have been quick to be kind to me, or say nice things to me. But the minute I started to manipulate them into hanging out with me, they just didn't respond. This could be God also preserving this relationship. Whatever the reason, I am grateful for the process that it is taking.

So as August moves closer, I can say that it has been a great summer! I still can't believe 6 months have moved through life so quickly, but this time has been truly fruitful. Praise God for the things He has shown me, as well as all the things he will show me in the future. God is Great and is to be praised for his mighty acts of power!