How big is our God?
He is bigger than my deepest fears.
He is bigger than all of my unfulfilled desires.
He is bigger than each sin I commit (or omit).
He is bigger than a boring job.
He is bigger than a fight with a friend.
He is bigger than....and the list goes on and on.
So often when I am faced with a fearful situation, I lose sight of who God is, and the kind of control He has over that situation. And all situations really. It has been so hard to get it through my thick head that "God works all things for the good". That's right ALL things.
Even now, as I write this the fear of relying on Him fully grips at my heart. I experience some anxiety. But as Hebrews 4:16 says "Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence", I can go to him and with confidence. So often I walk this walk with an expectation that God wants me to do it alone. Independancy is a trait that the western world has taken a liking to. I have it in my home, in my job and most of my relationships. But alone has never been His plan. His whole purpose in creation is to create people to be dependant on Him! He even says "I will never leave you".
I am not perfect. In this imperfection, I am slowly letting go of the need to hold onto the facade to show others. Jesus died on that cross so that I don't have to hang my head low for my depravity. I can approach him with the areas that I struggle with. I can say, "Jesus, I am struggling with [insert issue here] and I don't have the strength to do this. Give me the strength I need to obey you."
Praise God for his greatness!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Mexico - Days 1,2 & 3
Day 1&2
30 of us went to Detroit to fly & 31 of us went to Chicago to fly on Friday night. I went through Chicago. Saturday both groups arrived nearly 45min within each other and all things went well. We drove down to the San Quentin valley in mexico. Tijuana was even pretty simple. Our van got stopped, but nothing crazy. Just a quick, "Where are you going?" & a quick response "We're on vacation". Hmm... But all in all, it was good.
Day 3 - Sunday
Nothing real notable occured this day. Except maybe to say that we had some good grub for dinner. A really spicy sauce, but tasty (can't remember the name of the item) none the less.
Though, I think that Sunday was the day that we stayed up late singing during an impromptu worship night. ( I suppose the days are already running together).
30 of us went to Detroit to fly & 31 of us went to Chicago to fly on Friday night. I went through Chicago. Saturday both groups arrived nearly 45min within each other and all things went well. We drove down to the San Quentin valley in mexico. Tijuana was even pretty simple. Our van got stopped, but nothing crazy. Just a quick, "Where are you going?" & a quick response "We're on vacation". Hmm... But all in all, it was good.
Day 3 - Sunday
Nothing real notable occured this day. Except maybe to say that we had some good grub for dinner. A really spicy sauce, but tasty (can't remember the name of the item) none the less.
Though, I think that Sunday was the day that we stayed up late singing during an impromptu worship night. ( I suppose the days are already running together).
The past month...
So my appologies...Many things have happened since I last posted. Everything from hitting my 30th birthday to working in Mexico for a week. A month is a long time.
I will give you a taste of a few things here in this post and I will try to give you some additional thoughts & happenings from the past month.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Faith & Hope
I’ve really been struggling with the idea of understanding “hope” & “faith” and not listening to Satan’s lies about me as a person in addition to God’s plan for my life. If I’m not worrying about a guy liking me, it’s me worrying that he’ll fall in love with another person over me. Never mind the fact that the whole plan is something God has in store (whether he is with me or with her or neither of us).
So let’s first talk about “faith”. As I listened to a sermon about this same subject, Circumstantial Faith is putting my belief that based on the formula of doing things “perfectly”. If I do XXXX then I must receive XXXX. If I don’t get this, then God must not be real and I can give up believing him… NOT! It’s so hard to really place trust in God when things don’t happen the way that we want.
This is where Hope comes in. We can certainly have hope that things will turn out in our favor. But the measure of faith that must come in is in regards to the fact that God always knows better than we do. We need to place our faith in Jesus/God despite the circumstances that we are in (most of which we wish would change). So, I have hope that I will be married, and I hope that he is XXXX. But as I hope I must rest in the knowledge that God knows the best plan & the when/who may be changed; but always for my good and His kingdom.
Some verses I have had to really rely on lately are:
Hebrew 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we HOPE for and certain of what we do not see.
I hope that I will have this desire answered (to be married/wife/mother/etc.) and certain that God’s best is waiting to happen.
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God,
If I refuse to have this faith (in God & his best plan – no matter what), then I cannot please God.
Because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
That even when my hopes are not answered the way I think, & I still keep the faith in God – that he WILL always reward those who place faith in him.
So maybe it really is an equation…Have FAITH in God (the kind that realizes that His best is always at hand, and His will is always best) and then He will reward you (with His kind of rewards, in His timing, and in His way).
Mark 1:40
Lord if you are willing, you can make me clean.
It’s not the fact that God is unable to answer the prayer, but more important that I fully understand that this world is NOT about me. It is about His kingdom, glory, and honor. His process is much more important, and if He is willing…I believe that He will make this happen in my life. And going along with the stuff above, I believe that even if He doesn’t choose to answer this particular prayer soon (if ever) that His ways are much higher than mine. He knows best.
The next part of the sermon series was the response to unanswered prayers. He spoke about Paul’s thorn that he pleaded with God to take away – 3 times in fact. The part that was renewed in my heart was what followed in the verses in 2nd Corinthians:
2 Corinthians 12:9b-10
Therefore I will boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Notice the plurality of that statement. Paul asked 3 times for this ONE item to be removed…but he (read I) will delight in ALL of the struggles present. As when I am weak, I am strong because of the power of Christ that He freely gives in response to my faith in him.
I know the challenge of walking with this peace is huge. The important armor that I have available is those verses above. I have been battling my soul with this whole knowledge. Not wavering on what I have learned but being frustrated with living solely on Circumstantial Faith. God is calling me to stand firm and fully trust Him. But with the kind of Faith that pleases him; faith that says You are God, I hope for good things, but realize that even if those good things I want are not what you want – I’m going to trust you anyway; because after all, you better than I.
So let’s first talk about “faith”. As I listened to a sermon about this same subject, Circumstantial Faith is putting my belief that based on the formula of doing things “perfectly”. If I do XXXX then I must receive XXXX. If I don’t get this, then God must not be real and I can give up believing him… NOT! It’s so hard to really place trust in God when things don’t happen the way that we want.
This is where Hope comes in. We can certainly have hope that things will turn out in our favor. But the measure of faith that must come in is in regards to the fact that God always knows better than we do. We need to place our faith in Jesus/God despite the circumstances that we are in (most of which we wish would change). So, I have hope that I will be married, and I hope that he is XXXX. But as I hope I must rest in the knowledge that God knows the best plan & the when/who may be changed; but always for my good and His kingdom.
Some verses I have had to really rely on lately are:
Hebrew 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we HOPE for and certain of what we do not see.
I hope that I will have this desire answered (to be married/wife/mother/etc.) and certain that God’s best is waiting to happen.
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God,
If I refuse to have this faith (in God & his best plan – no matter what), then I cannot please God.
Because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
That even when my hopes are not answered the way I think, & I still keep the faith in God – that he WILL always reward those who place faith in him.
So maybe it really is an equation…Have FAITH in God (the kind that realizes that His best is always at hand, and His will is always best) and then He will reward you (with His kind of rewards, in His timing, and in His way).
Mark 1:40
Lord if you are willing, you can make me clean.
It’s not the fact that God is unable to answer the prayer, but more important that I fully understand that this world is NOT about me. It is about His kingdom, glory, and honor. His process is much more important, and if He is willing…I believe that He will make this happen in my life. And going along with the stuff above, I believe that even if He doesn’t choose to answer this particular prayer soon (if ever) that His ways are much higher than mine. He knows best.
The next part of the sermon series was the response to unanswered prayers. He spoke about Paul’s thorn that he pleaded with God to take away – 3 times in fact. The part that was renewed in my heart was what followed in the verses in 2nd Corinthians:
2 Corinthians 12:9b-10
Therefore I will boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Notice the plurality of that statement. Paul asked 3 times for this ONE item to be removed…but he (read I) will delight in ALL of the struggles present. As when I am weak, I am strong because of the power of Christ that He freely gives in response to my faith in him.
I know the challenge of walking with this peace is huge. The important armor that I have available is those verses above. I have been battling my soul with this whole knowledge. Not wavering on what I have learned but being frustrated with living solely on Circumstantial Faith. God is calling me to stand firm and fully trust Him. But with the kind of Faith that pleases him; faith that says You are God, I hope for good things, but realize that even if those good things I want are not what you want – I’m going to trust you anyway; because after all, you better than I.
Monday, May 5, 2008
With Open Hands
Have you ever noticed that it is hard to hold your hands completely open? Then when you relax your hands, they begin to close naturally...
I was thinking about this fact, and I can so relate this idea to my trust in God. In recent months, I was in a place of pure devotion to God. Placing my hopes for my future, my goals, my dreams, my desires in the palm of my hand with God fully in control of these items. When things seemed to be "going good" I listened to the Lie that Satan spoke, "you can put your guard down. You have this in the bag".
As I began letting my guard down, I noticed that my grip on the situation started to change. Just as when we relax our hands, they start to close. The more my hands closed, the more crazy the situation seemed to appear. Things were not working out in a way that pleased me.
This change created a catalyst of change in my heart. I lost grip of, not only the item that I wanted most, but also on perspective. When I thought that I was taking control, the more I tried to grip onto my wants/hopes/desires/etc the more everything slipped through my fingers.
This catalyst of change has forced me to reexamine my worship. Where do I place my hopes? Is it in the thing that I want? Or is in God, the creator & perfecter of my faith? So just like holding my hands completely open has times of difficulty (tiredness, pain, weakness), so is my walk with Christ. It takes specific attention to keep those hands open. It is not natural. But neither is our walk with Christ. It takes specific attention to keep his commands & walk in His truths. It is not natural to behave this way, as we are all born as sinners.
BUT (now that's a big but), we are promised that "[he] has plans for you. Plans prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope & a future" Jere 29:11. But this promise exists that[we] will seek [him] and find [him] when [we] seek [him] with all [our] heart. He will reveal His will for our lives - if we keep our hands open so much to let him take care of all the plans. We can sit back and relax, but we must also just strive to keep the hands open.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Winding roads & Straight Paths
The interesting thing about going on a journey is that there are times where you can see a long way down the road. Then there are times when the road is winding so much, that you can't see around the next bend.
And even sometimes you can see in the distance how the road will come around, but you can't see that path around the corner that will get you to that portion of the road.
This is the general path that my life is taking at this point. I have hope that the future (the path that I can see) will bring about the things that I have been desiring. But, I can't see how I am going to get from Point A to Point B.
Most of us know it's best to change the oil in our cars every 3,000 miles to ensure that the engine has clean oil to do its best to keep everything running smoothly. I know that I want my car to keep running for at least another several thousand miles, so I know that I must keep up on this maintenance. But as apart of this maintenance, I need to be prepared to take the time to get this oil change scheduled.
Preparation.
I've been doing a great deal of pondering on the idea of preparation. It seems that while I wait to see what is around the bend, I have not been all that good in this area. I throw way too many parties (the pity kind) that results in more brokeness and discontent. This is such a waste of precious time that I have here. One of the most profound thoughts in life is that no one is richer or poorer when it comes to time. We all have 24 hours to accomplish the things we need to. Some are more more efficient with this time.
I've been doing a great deal of pondering on the idea of preparation. It seems that while I wait to see what is around the bend, I have not been all that good in this area. I throw way too many parties (the pity kind) that results in more brokeness and discontent. This is such a waste of precious time that I have here. One of the most profound thoughts in life is that no one is richer or poorer when it comes to time. We all have 24 hours to accomplish the things we need to. Some are more more efficient with this time.
I don't know how my journey will meet the road that I believe exists, but one thing is for certain this is the time to develop the character that God desires for me. To learn and put into practice humility, compassion, grace & complete surrender to God. Though I know that this journey will have its fair share of highs & lows, I can be certain that there will be times of deep stability - or straight paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on
your own
understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make
your paths
straight.
Father God, I pray that I will be energized to use this time that I have for growing closer to you. Give my heart the desire to follow the sound of your voice and teach me to give you my stolen moments - to keep from letting distractions keep me from being ready to do your will. Thank you for blessings you give today and the fulfillment of promises you have planned for tomorrow. Amen.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Promises, promises, promises
There is something about a broken promise that really affects me. Whether it be a friend who "forgot" to call, or when someone failed to take care of something that they said they would handle.
I know that I could give you account of different ways in which someone has broken a promise. But let me shift my thoughts to God in regards to broken promises. Does He "forget" or not do something He said He would? It sure seems that way a lot of times. As I sit here in this uncomfortable path in life, I wonder "Did God really promise that He would never leave me or forsake me?"
I began reading in 1 Peter 5, and some of my discouragements were answered for me.
This verse gave me a promise that I just couldn't ignore.
When I think back to other times within my life, I can identify specific times when everything seemed all okay within my soul. I can even remember some deep disappointments, and the path out of that pain & suffering. So this verse can give me the same encouragement that He has PROMISED that after I have suffered a little while, God WILL restore me and make me strong & steadfast.
God is good to His promises.
[Enter my inquisitive mind]
"How can I stand firm and not fall while I am in this place of great discontentment & suffering?"
Well, reading earlier in 1 Peter 5, I saw the following:
God's word does not tell me that He will take away my suffering (though He may restore me & make me strong & steadfast) but his word DOES say that I need to be Humble & Cast my anxiety on Him. I can be certain in those time of true selfishness, I do neither of these.
As I learn to perservere in this trial, I pray that I will learn to submit to God in these areas. What do I have to lose? What do you have to lose? It seems that when we submit our hearts over to God with all of our wants & desires He will help direct those desires to what He wants & it more than pleases Him to be able to satisfy those desires.
May you experience the freedom of trusting God with your desires.
I know that I could give you account of different ways in which someone has broken a promise. But let me shift my thoughts to God in regards to broken promises. Does He "forget" or not do something He said He would? It sure seems that way a lot of times. As I sit here in this uncomfortable path in life, I wonder "Did God really promise that He would never leave me or forsake me?"
I began reading in 1 Peter 5, and some of my discouragements were answered for me.
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after
you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong,
firm and steadfast."
This verse gave me a promise that I just couldn't ignore.
When I think back to other times within my life, I can identify specific times when everything seemed all okay within my soul. I can even remember some deep disappointments, and the path out of that pain & suffering. So this verse can give me the same encouragement that He has PROMISED that after I have suffered a little while, God WILL restore me and make me strong & steadfast.
God is good to His promises.
[Enter my inquisitive mind]
"How can I stand firm and not fall while I am in this place of great discontentment & suffering?"
Well, reading earlier in 1 Peter 5, I saw the following:
"Humble yourselves under God's mighty hand"
"Cast all your anxiety on him"
God's word does not tell me that He will take away my suffering (though He may restore me & make me strong & steadfast) but his word DOES say that I need to be Humble & Cast my anxiety on Him. I can be certain in those time of true selfishness, I do neither of these.
As I learn to perservere in this trial, I pray that I will learn to submit to God in these areas. What do I have to lose? What do you have to lose? It seems that when we submit our hearts over to God with all of our wants & desires He will help direct those desires to what He wants & it more than pleases Him to be able to satisfy those desires.
May you experience the freedom of trusting God with your desires.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Love is...
Finishing that sentence can be so difficult. Sure, maybe the first thing to come to mind is the 1 Corinthians 13 passage that is read at weddings so frequently. But, how much do we actually LOVE?
There is a truth that it seems that God has been echoing in my ear... but let me first talk about the 1 John 4:19 verse. "We love because He first loved us". The "He" referenced is really the main reason we love. The HOW can be a little vague from time to time, but the WHY is the truth that I am coming to understand.
The lesson being taught is this:
You choose to love others more, not because you love THEM, but rather to love JESUS/God more.
This princple has never been as real to my heart like this statement has stretched it.
So maybe you wonder what this has to do with being single. Sometimes the easy way out is to say that "I don't have a family/spouse so I can't learn anything from this", but to this I say that there are so many ways that we (singlepeople) can show love to others. We just need to step outside ourselves and LOOK for ways to honor Christ with our live - love.
My challenge to you:
Step out of your box and look for simple ways to love:
- call a friend
- make dinner for someone
- Listen
Love well.
There is a truth that it seems that God has been echoing in my ear... but let me first talk about the 1 John 4:19 verse. "We love because He first loved us". The "He" referenced is really the main reason we love. The HOW can be a little vague from time to time, but the WHY is the truth that I am coming to understand.
The lesson being taught is this:
You choose to love others more, not because you love THEM, but rather to love JESUS/God more.
This princple has never been as real to my heart like this statement has stretched it.
So maybe you wonder what this has to do with being single. Sometimes the easy way out is to say that "I don't have a family/spouse so I can't learn anything from this", but to this I say that there are so many ways that we (singlepeople) can show love to others. We just need to step outside ourselves and LOOK for ways to honor Christ with our live - love.
My challenge to you:
Step out of your box and look for simple ways to love:
- call a friend
- make dinner for someone
- Listen
Love well.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Standing firm...on sandy ground??
It has been about 6 months since I have last thought about going on a true hiking experience. Back in October when the weather was mostly nice - the sun will still shining & the fall leaves were creating a fragrance that was pleasant to my nose. Now here we are, it's April and 60 degree temperatures are still to be found. We've endured a seemingly long winter season - full of snow & cloudy days.
The hope of hiking a path has been high on my list of "things-to-do". I can only imagine what the view at the top of mountain would give! But is it really the destination at the top that brings the most enjoyment? Or is it each part of the journey to the top? My last hiking experience was full of discouragement as my body wasn't in the kind of health I needed to get me through the journey pain-free. There were times that I would receive surprises that would make me revolt in fear. It was hard for me to see the pleasure out of the trip - except at the end was a beautiful lake.
Though Spring has yet to fully make its arrival, the reality is this - I am on a different kind of hike. One that is challenging me towards true contentment in my climb towards that final goal - freedom in Christ. But, I have a choice. Do I focus on all of the parts of the challenge that make it hard, or can I step outside of myself long enough to see the beauty of the journey - flowers, babbling brooks & wild animals - all of which God designed for us to enjoy with Him.
This week I have been chewing on the idea of "Standing Firm". In 2 Thessalonians, Paul writes about this idea of Standing Firm during times of difficulty. I can easily be swayed to FEEL a certain way based on my circumstance, the truth of it all is really to learn how to KNOW the truth as God sees it.
The truth is:
God has specifically chosen/adopted each believer in Christ.
He did this through the changing work of the Holy Spirit.
All so that we can share in the Glory of Jesus.
But the point of it all is to "Stand Firm" & remember the teaching of Jesus we've received (either written & or heard). And the hope behind all of this is that Jesus & God may encourage our hearts and strengthen us in every good deed & word. (my paraphrase)
The part that I have really be trying to memorize into my heart is that
Jesus
- loves me
- gives eternal encouragement
- gives good hope
Wow..good hope...I face the reality that many times I place my hope in things of this world (my desire for a spouse, my friendships, my job, my ministries, my ability to take care of myself, etc...) Not that these things are bad, but the reality is that the things I place my hope in, are like shifting sand. They are not constant. Friends move on, jobs end, ministries change, circumstances change...But the love of Jesus is eternal & never ending. He is the only source of good hope.
As I continue climbing this hill, inch by inch, I long to reach out to the source of Good Hope, so that I can enjoy the journey until that day that I can see the view from the top of the mountain. The day that He will make sense of my current sufferings. But I also need to understand that each part of the journey will have some joy in it. I need to stop focusing on myself and what pains me & look around at the view from this point. He is the source of good hope & that is enough to get me through today's challenge.
The hope of hiking a path has been high on my list of "things-to-do". I can only imagine what the view at the top of mountain would give! But is it really the destination at the top that brings the most enjoyment? Or is it each part of the journey to the top? My last hiking experience was full of discouragement as my body wasn't in the kind of health I needed to get me through the journey pain-free. There were times that I would receive surprises that would make me revolt in fear. It was hard for me to see the pleasure out of the trip - except at the end was a beautiful lake.
Though Spring has yet to fully make its arrival, the reality is this - I am on a different kind of hike. One that is challenging me towards true contentment in my climb towards that final goal - freedom in Christ. But, I have a choice. Do I focus on all of the parts of the challenge that make it hard, or can I step outside of myself long enough to see the beauty of the journey - flowers, babbling brooks & wild animals - all of which God designed for us to enjoy with Him.
This week I have been chewing on the idea of "Standing Firm". In 2 Thessalonians, Paul writes about this idea of Standing Firm during times of difficulty. I can easily be swayed to FEEL a certain way based on my circumstance, the truth of it all is really to learn how to KNOW the truth as God sees it.
The truth is:
God has specifically chosen/adopted each believer in Christ.
He did this through the changing work of the Holy Spirit.
All so that we can share in the Glory of Jesus.
But the point of it all is to "Stand Firm" & remember the teaching of Jesus we've received (either written & or heard). And the hope behind all of this is that Jesus & God may encourage our hearts and strengthen us in every good deed & word. (my paraphrase)
The part that I have really be trying to memorize into my heart is that
Jesus
- loves me
- gives eternal encouragement
- gives good hope
Wow..good hope...I face the reality that many times I place my hope in things of this world (my desire for a spouse, my friendships, my job, my ministries, my ability to take care of myself, etc...) Not that these things are bad, but the reality is that the things I place my hope in, are like shifting sand. They are not constant. Friends move on, jobs end, ministries change, circumstances change...But the love of Jesus is eternal & never ending. He is the only source of good hope.
As I continue climbing this hill, inch by inch, I long to reach out to the source of Good Hope, so that I can enjoy the journey until that day that I can see the view from the top of the mountain. The day that He will make sense of my current sufferings. But I also need to understand that each part of the journey will have some joy in it. I need to stop focusing on myself and what pains me & look around at the view from this point. He is the source of good hope & that is enough to get me through today's challenge.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Approaching the throne with confidence...
Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
This being my first official blog post on this site, I am hoping to adequately articulate my thoughts about this journey I have been asked to walk called singleness. In a few short months I will be hitting my 30th year in this life. Sure, age is just a number that we use to count time relative to others & their number.
When you are in high school, you are faced with the opportunity that the world is your canvas and the painting you create is up to you. The freedom you have & the dreams that can come true is an endless set of possibilities. Though 30 is the next 20, it seems that life is nothing that I would have ever thought it would look like - at least not through these lenses.
This is where the idea of trusting my Creator comes into play. If Romans 8:28 is true, then we can be sure that everything that has happened to me up to this point has all been in God's plan. This is a tough place to be at since I want what I want & when I want it...But even in the midst of my self-will wanting to rule over my heart, my heart is fighting to listen to God and realize that His ultimate best is coming to fruition in my life.
I was reading an email I received this week that touched on the idea of Eve's ultimate desire to have knowledge of everything - good & evil. It's kind of like the idea that hopes in life are in a game of "Door #1 & Door #2".
Behind good ole Door #1 is an image of everything that you could imagine that is good. A well-paying, satisfying job; the most attractive man with all the best qualities ever; well-behaved children & perfect ministry - all behind a piece of glass.
Behind Door #2 is...well we don't know. It's all behind a solid wood door with no holes or windows. But what if you were told EVERY one of your dreams, hopes & desires would be fulfilled behind Door #2. Would you trust the messenger?
Eve chose Door #1. But the problem is, she didn't see the consequences. The question I need to ask myself "Is it worth choosing Door #1 since I can see all that is available, or am I willing to risk all of my desires to see how good Door #2 really is?"
I hope that as we experience this journey together, that we'll see which option I choose. So, I will approach the throne of grace with confidence and hope to recieve mercy and to find God's grace to help me through this time.
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
This being my first official blog post on this site, I am hoping to adequately articulate my thoughts about this journey I have been asked to walk called singleness. In a few short months I will be hitting my 30th year in this life. Sure, age is just a number that we use to count time relative to others & their number.
When you are in high school, you are faced with the opportunity that the world is your canvas and the painting you create is up to you. The freedom you have & the dreams that can come true is an endless set of possibilities. Though 30 is the next 20, it seems that life is nothing that I would have ever thought it would look like - at least not through these lenses.
This is where the idea of trusting my Creator comes into play. If Romans 8:28 is true, then we can be sure that everything that has happened to me up to this point has all been in God's plan. This is a tough place to be at since I want what I want & when I want it...But even in the midst of my self-will wanting to rule over my heart, my heart is fighting to listen to God and realize that His ultimate best is coming to fruition in my life.
I was reading an email I received this week that touched on the idea of Eve's ultimate desire to have knowledge of everything - good & evil. It's kind of like the idea that hopes in life are in a game of "Door #1 & Door #2".
Behind good ole Door #1 is an image of everything that you could imagine that is good. A well-paying, satisfying job; the most attractive man with all the best qualities ever; well-behaved children & perfect ministry - all behind a piece of glass.
Behind Door #2 is...well we don't know. It's all behind a solid wood door with no holes or windows. But what if you were told EVERY one of your dreams, hopes & desires would be fulfilled behind Door #2. Would you trust the messenger?
Eve chose Door #1. But the problem is, she didn't see the consequences. The question I need to ask myself "Is it worth choosing Door #1 since I can see all that is available, or am I willing to risk all of my desires to see how good Door #2 really is?"
I hope that as we experience this journey together, that we'll see which option I choose. So, I will approach the throne of grace with confidence and hope to recieve mercy and to find God's grace to help me through this time.
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