Wow. I can't believe that I've been gone for 6 whole months...Sometimes I wonder if you are eager to hear about where God is taking His servant through the journey of singleness. I wonder if you ask yourself if I've found myself a suitor which is precisely why I haven't written.
I've previously written many times of the "coincidences" of God's word demonstrated in my life. It has been quite awhile that I've heard God speak in a loud voice, clear enough to not question that it was Him speaking.
Before I share His words, let me catch you up.
This year has been a year of many losses. Friends have moved away, my 16yr old cat died, and...the man that I had been praying for has finalized our friendship as just brother & sister in Christ. This came after hearing about his dating life, and a some clear changes to our friendship. Throughout all of this loss, I have been challenged in my walk.
Bitterness and sinfulness has been overshadowing my heart for months.
Through much prayer and the beginning of a wrestling match with God, I have seen some clearing in the clouds as I try to hear answers to the many "whys" I have been sending up.
This brings us to today.
2 Samuel 7...
David thinks, "hmm...I have been blessed by God with a grand home. Let me build Him a tabernacle."
God says, "ah...no, that's not what I want you to do. But, I do have a plan of great magnitude that I will do through your decendants".
Then David responded in great obedience and praise to God for all of the great things He's already handed to David.
There are 2 major ideas that God is speaking to me about:
1) Sometimes, even when it's a good thing, He does say "no".
2) My response needs to be of praise and submission to trusting His plan.
I have been caught up for 3 months on the fact that I heard God say "wait" for 10 months. Then, in a moment. He was silent, and the plan didn't work out with a "yes". Now after 3 months of bitterness welling up in my soul, He speaks His "no". I still need to move forward to find out if His "No!" is just for this particular man, or if it's for all men.
Maybe God has planned for me to be a single woman. I must look around and see all of the blessings He has provided for me. Things that I can't even comprehend how or why He did bless me. The desires to love others and split up my time can be so great when I focus on His glory.
These are all things that I have yet to learn, but I must keep holding on to Him. Letting the greatest lover to fill me up.
