Character development

Often I have moments where I sit and contemplate the characteristics that I bring into relationships with others. I'll ask questions about how ready I actually am to be able to enter into a lifelong relationship with another:

• "Do I have what it takes to be a mom or wife?"
• "Am I patient enough to love another person(s) unconditionally?"
• "Will I ever be willing to give up my wants for the sake of anothers needs?"

These are some of the things that have crossed my mind over the past several years as I have walked down this journey. I sometimes pride myself for being reflective to where I can see my faults and justify why I'm still walking without a spouse beside me. But something has been on my mind over the past couple of weeks trying to make sense about some of the challenges/discouragements/disappointments that I have gone through over the past year or so. It's the truth that God will never give you more than you can handle. (I Corinthians 10:13)


What if I really can't handle being a wife or a mother? Maybe I don't have the ability to be self-less enough?


Romans 5 says, "And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Is hope really found through suffering to grow our perseverance which develops our character? Is this hope really to have all of these things to ultimately have God glorified through our lives?


If it is true that God will never give us more than we can handle,
And we long to have God glorified through us;
Should we fight the times of suffering?


Each one of us goes through different periods of suffering. Some who have gone through slight times of discouragements/periods of suffering may want to dismiss your struggles and over simplify them. Don't let their words discourage you.

I'm certainly learning that I might have a lot of Character Development that needs to ocurr to have God most glorified through my life or even to prepare me for another work He wants to use me for. Maybe it's even the periods of struggle that He is using to being glorified. Ultimately, if God will be most glorified through my singleness or in my marriage - that is what He is going to choose.


Father God,
Thank you that you don't want to leave us the same. Thank you for the times of challenges that you present in each of our lives. Thank you that they bring us to a place of utter dependence on you. I praise you for the character that you are developing in my life. I continue to ask that You would continue to reveal Your glory in our lives as we go about serving You and finding our place in Your Kingdom.

May we rejoice in the hope of your glory.

Looking behind to see where you are going

It certainly seems like a bizzare thought to look behind you to see where you are going, but it is something worth considering. The past couple of years I have begun using small little spiral bound booklets to write down thoughts of what God was teaching me & the prayers I have been praying. I am hoping that these journals will hold up and my children & grandchildren will have opportunity to learn from the things that God has taught to me.



So let's add to those lessons of learning.



1. God does not need man to accomplish His purposes

• a. Adam fell into a "deep sleep" & God created the woman suitable for him. (I don't think that Adam TOLD God who or what he was looking for)


• b. God opened up Sarah's womb & she became pregnant.

Lesson: God does not need ANY of my "help" to accomplish his plans. I can make it easier on myself by obeying, but no need to actually help him...



2. "...after every earthly reason for hope was completely dead..." God fulfilled the promise of a child for Sarah & Abraham.



Lesson: (Isn't this one self-explanatory?)

-From the book "Twelve Extraordinary Women" by John MacAruthur

So as I look back at the things God has taught me in the past few months...I have learned that I need to go forward without using my past to measure my future. God's plan will continue without my help & my hope needs not be in earthly things but wholly & completely in HIM.



This is not a new lesson, but it's truly time to stop mistrusting Him. He's got it all under control. My hope is that you will see His faithfulness in your life.



Father God,

Thank you so much for all of the patience you give me when I continue to let you down. Your grace is more than I could ever ask for. I'm asking you for strength to move forward in Your truths & let You bless me in the ways You've chosen. Your grace is truly enough. Help remind me of this when the challenges come. I love you for all that you do.

Amen

Waiting - (what else?)

I have been in a period of waiting (any long time reader would not be surprised at this) and have been desperately asking God for a "No". I would prefer a "Yes", but I was even praying for a "No" just for a resolution to my hearts desire/angst. As I was pleading for God to respond - instead of continuing with the "wait" - I was deeply reminded of Romans 9:

But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him
who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?'

Translation: Why are you asking for a No, when I have told you to wait? What if I want to say Yes, but now is not the time?

I have also been reminded in recent weeks about the Isrealites complaint to God which kept them wandering the desert for 40 years. In Deuteronomy 1 it says:

...[They} grumbled in [their] tents and said, "The LORD hates us; so he brought us out of Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us. ...

Then God said, "... The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes...In spite of this, you did not trust in the LORD your God, who went ahead of you on your journey ... to show you the way you should go. When the LORD heard what you said, he was angry and solemnly swore: "Not a man of this evil generation shall see the good land I swore to give your forefathers..."

So what now? God has clearly said to me, "wait". I keep pleading with him that a No (Egypt) would be better than a Yes (Isreal) if Wait (wandering in the desert towards Isreal) is my answer. Are the recent developments a response to my grumbling?

So again, I ask, What now?

There is hope...Jesus.
The Isrealites didn't have Jesus. God was disgusted by their hearts and their distrust. He punished them. However, Jesus took this punishment for me. No, this doesn't mean that I need to keep sinning so that Jesus can take the brunt of the punsihment, but I don't need to be in fear that God is not on my side. He has the best plans laid aside for me. I can not be afraid that God will banish me to the Desert for 40 years. His word says that His mercies are new every morning. Today is new day.

Sabbaths - A time to rest in God's presence

Happy Sunday to you!
To some people, this is a day of rest from work, chores, etc. Some people look forward to Sunday's for a day to nap, read or just relax. Though, many of us refrain from actually finding time to take a Sabbath. We keep up with the same busy, hectic schedule every day of the week; never taking much time out to rest.

I was doing my devotions today and came across some verses leading up to how Jesus chose his 12 Apostles.

Luke 6:12-15
One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.

The section just before this was talking about Jesus being criticized by the Pharisees by healing and "harvesting" (small grains of wheat) on the Sabbath. Then the chapter continues into how He went about deciding the 12. Is this a coincidence? Who knows. I'm not a true bible scholar, but it got me thinking about what the Sabbath really should be about; or better yet how I can be better prepared to be ready for the events of the day & coming week.

How often do I consider taking time out to Pray to God for an extended timeframe? Is this considered rest for me? Or would watching TV or playing on the internet or shopping all be considered my rest period?

Jesus went to a mountainside to pray. He then spent the entire night praying to God!! The fruit of this time was his selection of the apostles. Do you think He just prayed about the 12? Who knows. But I think the lesson to take is that we need to be rested up to be able to be obedient to God & available to serve Him. And the only way to accomplish this is to take large quantities of time out of our busy schedule to spend with Him. It's not about the doing - (not just one more thing to check off the list) - but the fact that Jesus spent HOURS praying with God. This was quite possibly His Sabbath. His time of rest.

Father God,
Thank you for your word to be a tool that speaks so closely to my heart. When you speak, I know that I need to listen. Help me to take that time to speak with you, glean your truths & to allow you to fill me up so that I can be ready to step out and serve you.